Advice, Please?
Right, peeps, I need your help. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don’t know what to do about One Ball and I. Should we break up? Should I just do it and be done with it? Or is he a good guy that deserves a bit more time? And before you answer that question, I have something to tell you that’ll complicate things even further …
I’m starting to crush on his best friend.
(As if the My Mr. Grey stuff wasn’t complication enough, or the crush on my new boss.)
I’ve been texting One Ball’s best friend for a few days for a work-related thing. Today, he came into work to sign some paperwork and finalise things, and I couldn’t look at him in the face when he was standing right in front of me. I don’t understand it. He looks a bit like Owen Wilson, which is not my kinda guy at all, and I don’t even think I find him that attractive … but sexually, we’ve got chemistry. Or I have? I don’t know what it is but it feels like I was accidentally flirting with him even though I wasn’t trying to.
And he’s intelligent too. Sorting his paperwork and stuff out took a bit of time and we chatted for the whole time. Real conversations, not just small talk. Like, we really talked. And now I want to fuck him. I have this weird need to put my hands on his body whenever I’m around him, and all I can think about is dropping to my knees, unzipping his jeans, and taking his dick in my mouth. It’s literally the only thing in my head.
What is wrong with me?? Why am I doing this?? WHY DO I DO THIS??
I’m still not sure about One Ball. I don’t want to make any rash decisions that I later can’t undo, and it’s not like I can just move right along to his best friend after the deed is done, is it? That’s a total no-no. They’ve been friends for a really, really long time and I definitely don’t want to be the kind of girl who gets in the way of that. And One Ball is actually in love with me. Proper in love with me. Like, talks about long-term goals and life plans with me. And all I can think about is dropping to my knees to his best friend.
Seriously … what is wrong with me??
I’m trying to put things in order; to rationalise it all so it makes sense and is clear in my mind. He’s great in bed and we have a lot of fun, but he’s also predictable in bed and fun only goes so far in a relationship … as I’ve learned in the past.
He has five kids and he’s had the snip. He doesn’t want more kids. But I don’t have my own kids and maybe one day I’m going to want them. Not right now, obviously, but one day I might. What will happen then? We don’t have a future if I think I want kids and he’s definitely not going to give them to me, do we?
And I don’t want to get to know his kids or the ex-partners that come along with them. Yeah, our lives are totally separate for now, but there are going to be occasions when me and those little darlings are going to come face-to-face and … well, to be frank, I hate other people’s kids. Relative-kids are okay, and the occasional friend’s kid, but other people’s kids? I don’t know about that. I don’t think I want to take on FIVE WHOLE CHILDREN.
His best friend, on the other hand, has no kids. The big emphasis on best friend.
But you can’t help a crush, can you? It’s not like I purposely went out of my way to spend time with his best friend with the intention of getting it on with him. I’m not even physically, visually attracted to him, it’s just a low, under-the-surface kinda sexual tension that you don’t really know what to do with.
Fuck.
Advice, please?
Whoo well. Given my track record I’m not sure how good my advice is but here goes.
Forget the best mate. If he’s any kind of mate at all it wouldn’t happen anyway. Chalk it up to a lusty crush and leave it at that.
One Ball – from where I’m reading it doesn’t sound good. If you have no interest in him at 6 months then I’d get out. The whole snip thing is tricky. I get that you’re not fussed about kids right now but who knows how you’d feel in the future (assuming you’re still together by then). Maybe give this weekend a go and see how you feel then…its never fair to keep someone around if you’re not interested, if only because it sucks when you’re the one the other person isn’t sure about.
Big Love – you won’t find someone else who gives you the feelings he did. Straight up. My personal belief is every love is different, so you can’t compare the feelings with him to One Ball but if I’m honest it doesn’t sound like you’re in love with him anyway. As for the shoes, unless he knows he could return them, cancel the order or give them to someone else he may well still give them to you.
x
Thanks so much for your reply! I know what you’re saying about the best friend thing. I’m hoping it’s a come and go kinda crush but this past weekend certainly hasn’t helped things…. Hmmmm. I’m still no closer to figuring out what to do about OB either. Crap.
Eeny Meeny Miny Mo? Just kidding. sometimes you just have to make a decision and go with it…